i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
