Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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