I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
