I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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