the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
