i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
