Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
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