yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
