I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
