Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
