I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
