I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
