We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
