I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
