He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
