Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I will pee on everything he values.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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