I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
