Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's blow job season.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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