Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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