Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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