Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
