I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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