I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Help me help you realize you are a moron
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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