So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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