I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
