who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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