IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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