She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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