I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
