this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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