So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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