That's intense
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
