they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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