The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
