the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
