so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
