I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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