I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
