We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
