just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
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