And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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