Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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