Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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