just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
