Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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