HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
