i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
