Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
