the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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