he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
