Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
