don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
