i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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