I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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