i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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