I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
