Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
