found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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