just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
