I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
