i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
