so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
