Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
His hands were made for my vagina.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
