Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
this hospital has no fireball
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
