So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
