She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
