do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just took my morning after pill in the library
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
