I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
