You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
what day is it and did you see me today?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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