i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
