I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
They have beer where we have blood.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize