drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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